Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Addressing the Autism hate letter

My name is Jenny and I have pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified PDD-NOS for short. Depending on who you talk to and which DSM manual is being used it can be considered on or off the Autism spectrum. DSM is short for The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. It is the standard classification of mental disorders. The classifications for Autism have recently been changed so if someone is not using the old DSM manual they say someone with PDD-NOS is on the spectrum but if they are using the up to date one they say its off the spectrum. A while ago a letter was sent to the grandmother of an autistic child. This letter said many horrible things including that the child should be euthanized, that no one would ever love him, that whatever none autism parts of him he has should be donated to science and that his family should take their "wild child" and move to a trailer park. I read the story and this has hurt the family alot but the other neighbors have rallied around and are helping to protect the child as they feel unsure of his safety. After reading this story I decided to read the comments expecting to read some support for this family but unfortunately that wasn't the case. I will not mention any names but simply quote some of the comments here.... "The caregivers should have kept the child under control so the neighbors would be able to use their backyards. They have the right to be use their property in the manner it was intended for. An autistic child screeching continually should be controlled or taken indoors." .... "Kid should just learn to shut up!"... "The fact is that having diminished capacity does NOT give one carte blanche for bad behavior and if the mother has MS and children are threatened and bullies would a group home possibly be a better avenue for that family. If Lord forbid the day comes when Max physically harms someone else then the "outrage" will be directed elsewhere I am sure." .... "
The child is making noise in a residential neighborhood. There are rules everyone must follow. There is more than one person suffering here. There is a child and there is a neighbor. Fully counted this makes TWO parties. One person is causing a problem, and the other person feels as though they must find a way to cope with the problem. The neighbor is obviously losing the ability to cope anymore. Therefore the dysfunctional situation cannot be allowed to continue. There are solutions. Can you think of any? That would be helpful. Sitting here and proclaiming that what is happening is OK and Great for everyone is one sided and unfair. If the child is being left outside at the grandmothers house unattended and is out of control this is plain ignorant, immature and obnoxious. Why can't the behavior be ignorant? Ignorant is when someone doesn't know any better. It is a state of lack of education. IN this case the boy needs behavioral training. Immature? Well he is a little BOY isn't he? And Obnoxious? Well lets call a thing what it really is. No reason to sugar coat the truth. It's OBNOXIOUS."...."The child probably does scream out and probably scares other children, especially small ones.The other parents of the neighborhood needs to teach their children about this disease and teach them to be kind."... "if I ran around my neighborhood screaming, I'd be arrested within 20 minutes."...."the parent should do something with the autistic child other than let him 'disturb the peace". Neighbors should not have to listen to his constant noise making. His mother is the one at fault."...."I have also endured almost this exact scenario. The first thing that crosses your mind is.... " So they got tired of hearing the wailing and screaming inside, so they tossed him outside so we can all share in the misery. " Gee.....Thanks."...."Perhaps someone needed to tell these people that "Max" is a problem."... "Some societies do deal with "defects" in a much more harsh way than we do.  I feel awkward around mentally handicapped because I am always concerned they will do something and I won't know how to respond. The physically handicapped and deformed are also discomforting, maybe because I fear it happening to me, feel guilty because I am not challenged that way. But I always find myself trying to maintain eye contact rather than look away, but I know they can sense my awkwardness.".... "You're different ... so go away or die."... "I feel for the letter writer actually...i chalk the letter up to frustration. I live next door to an austistic child and we are no longer are able to enjoy our patio because of the noise. The incessant screaming and the ear shattering toys that he plays with non stop are enough to drive anyone crazy."... "The writer has every right to complain but should have done so with the rest of those in the area that are having this problem pushed on them .. ... and letter should have been sent to the city/town administration! ... (excluding ..((or euthanize him)) .. we all pay taxes for institutions to house those with problems as this child has ... or move with this child as requested.".... "WOW ! Finally someone who DARES say it out loud and simple ! I congratulate the person who wrote the letter ! SO TRUE ! Hurts to say it but it's true ! Everyone knows the truth hurts, that being a good example of it."... "I live beside 2 kids that are like that, and honestly it is horrible. When they squawk I can hear them through out my house and there is no refuge from that. There is also a huge open park 5 houses down that they can run around and play in. I am sick of it and is a significant reason why I am moving away from the area. Also, they have the audacity to call the police whenever any neighbours have music playing (which included 7:30 in the evening in the middle of summer when the sun was still high) because they want to put their kids to bed early. I can appreciate that they have a hard life taking care of those kids, but at the same time I paid for a house that I should be able to relax in and not have to hear them scream when ever they are outside. I have a beautiful back yard I cannot enjoy because their noise is worse then nails on a chalk board."... "some people can be quite uncomfortable around autistic people."... "All I know is that in all movies about the future, all forms of "abnormality" no longer exist. What a perfect world that must be.".....  "Can't say as I blame the woman for sending the letter. Whenever friends of ours come over with their 'tard (oops, I mean charming autistic child) we usually make up some excuse for having to leave. It's better than having this destructive, undisciplined wild-thing running around destroying everything in site.Either control or institutionalize your 'tards folks."...."We live in a society of 'victims' (often nasty victims) who demand that their behavior/problem/issue be subsidized by everyone else."...."I thought the letter writer had some valid points."...."I completely agree, finally somebody actually comes out and says it. Finally people who think the mentally disabled are annoying especially the people the women is describing, stop being afraid of what others will think. Mentally disabled without a brain are just bodies with noise makers whenever they feel like talking. Put the child in a home, he is definitely not going to notice the difference."... "I can see where she's coming from these kids can destroy a neighborhood."... "Bravo to the person who wrote the letter. We need more people like that who speak their mind. I couldn't imagine putting up with that noise either."... " my neighbour leaves her "special kid" outside for 1-2 hours a day and all the kid does is yell and screams. Ticks me off ...Keep on working millions of people on welfar depend on me.".... "I agree with the author of the letter. people with disabilities like that SHOULDN'T be living. We as humans, are at the point where we can empathize and pity creatures like the boy referred at in the letter, but there is simply something wrong with people like that.Either cure them, or cut them out of the picture. That's as simple as that."...... "Spreading resources among the weak noncontributing members of society eventually brings everyone down. The dumbing down of society is real and it's because we not only protect the weak, we encourage them to breed.".... "I can understand how this mother is feeling. She lives in a peacful neighboorhood and this loud obnoxious kid is running around."........ There were many comments like these. I post these here to show people that this is the kind of stuff that I and others like me have had to put up with. Some comments said all the mentally challenged should be institutionalized and that if someone knows their child will be disabled before they are born to abort them and that if the child knew they were gonna be disabled they wouldn't wanna live in the first place. This is along the lines of what Adolf Hitler thought to. Hitler wanted to get rid of anyone who was different. This is also like the thinking of the days before and a bit after the Civil War treat those who are different harshly they won't know. Maybe some of you remember the days of the Jim Crow laws where black and white people were separated everywhere. There was also a time when those who were labeled as crazy were strapped to beds and had drugs injected into them and every Sunday they were put in store windows wearing a sign that said "this is what a crazy person looks like." Then there were the slavery days when black slaves were beaten and whipped and shipped like cattle and had cigarettes put out on them and even had limbs cut off and were bought and sold like furniture. There were days in the 1800s when someone who was born mentally challenged was simply called "backwards." Some were thought to be possessed by the devil and were locked away.... I had thought that this kind of thinking was long gone but I guess I was wrong its still around. The reason I'm lumping the slavery and mentally ill together is to get across the point that they were treated harshly simply because they were different and its still this way even in the year 2013. The reason I mention the mentally ill is because that's what Autistic, ADHD, ADD and all others like those were called at one time. Now most people call us retard or short bus. And those of you who call yourselves Christians and tell people that if they had enough faith they wouldn't be mentally disabled you are just as bad as those I mentioned above and you are not true Christians. We are supposed to love one another and none of that is loving at all. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV. So clearly none of those words and actions were loving at all. Alot of those comments complained about the noise people with Autism make. Well I hear a worse noise and the worst noise is the noise of hate which is heard clearly in the letter and in those comments above. The screeching people with Autism make I believe has a simple explanation. First off children scream anyways weather disabled or not all children like to scream when they play. Second Autistic people have trouble comprehending the world and whats going on around them and its possible that most of the time they are afraid because they don't understand. Haven't you screamed when you were afraid of something?? The Autistic person could very well be scared so instead of condemning them why don't you try and see if you can see if there's anything wrong talk to them and ask them depending on their severity they might be able to answer you. Sometimes they scream out of frustration because some with Autism are unable to communicate. Try and imagine what it would be like to want to say something but you can't get it out and how frustrating that would be and you would probably scream from that frustration to. It would be like visiting a foreign country where you dunno the language at all and you dunno the customs at all and people are saying things to you in their language but you can't understand them. You try to speak but its all like babble to them. People give you dirty looks and you find you are being avoided because you are not acting according to their customs. Imagine how that would feel. That's a glimpse of what its like to be Autistic or to have any other special needs. As to keeping special needs indoors that's just a cruel suggestion. We have as much right to experience GOD's creation as you do. And it used to be normal for kids to play outdoors instead of now glued to video games all day. As to suggesting to control us a question do you like being controlled?? Do you like it when someone tries to control you?? If you don't like it we don't either we have feelings just like you do and we have rights to freedom just like you. To the comment that said the child should just learn to shut up. You are the one who needs to stop talking and start listening on what its like to have special needs and what you can do to help. As for the diminished capacity comment the special needs are not acting out or using bad behavior they simply do not understand or know this world and we do not have a diminished capacity in fact most special needs have a higher IQ then those who don't have special needs. To the one who says there is more then one person suffering you are right the Autistic child is suffering from having to put up with all the hate aimed at him. The Autistic child isn't being obnoxious they don't know any better and as for being immature well of course they are immature they are a child. And Autism is not a disease its a mental disability. By rudely complaining instead of trying to be compassionate and helping you are disturbing their peace and their lives are tough enough without having to put up with bullying. And no we do not get tired of them and so throw them outside we let them play outside because they have as much as a right to as any other child. And Max is not a problem at all the people rudely complaining are the problem. And we with special needs are not "defects" we are human beings with thoughts and feelings just like you. And the you are different so go away and die comment is just plain cruel. Everyone is different even identical twins are different no two people are exactly alike. Each person has a unique finger print, foot print and tongue print. Not everyone with special needs are institutionalized true some are but not all are. Some do live on their own and they work and they marry and they have kids just like everyone else. To the abnormality comment. Seriously your relating reality to tv?? And we are not abnormal we just have special needs. And don't ever call us tards or retards or short bus. That's just as offensive as calling an African American the N word. And we are not wild and destructive and we are not victims either. And the mentally disabled do have brains and as I have said most have higher IQ's then those who are not mentally disabled and we are not just noise makers either. And to say to put the child in the home he won't notice oh yes he will. We notice our surroundings and we are aware and remember what people say about us and whats been done to us we might not be able to say it but we are still aware and still remember and we don't destroy neighborhoods either. We have as much a right to live as anyone else and to say we shouldn't live is to agree with Adolf Hitler and to suggest aborting a child is a horrible thing to say. And to say we wouldn't wanna live well I have news for you I have PDD-NOS and I wanna live for Jesus. My brother has sever autism and he wants to live for Jesus. If you are afraid of someone with special needs please by all means find out what they have and re-search about it that might help you understand why they do the things they do and ask their parents or guardians perhaps they can help you out. If you have a child and your child is afraid of another special needs child please do your best to help them understand why the other child acts differently. There is nothing to be afraid of we just act and think differently then you do....
Here is an image of the full letter written to the grandmother of the Autistic child. There is some mild language in it and GOD's name is taken in vain unfortunately because of that some think this person is a believer therefore all believers act this way and that's simply not true.
For more on the DSM manual please click here 


Grateful for Common Sense said...


Searching for Common Sense said...

Please remove my first comment. I misunderstood which side of the fence you are on.