Friday, October 10, 2014

Recall Notice

Attention! The maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been identified as "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include the following
Loss of direction
Foul vocal emissions
Amnesia of origin
Lack of peace and joy
Selfishness and/or violent behavior
Depression and/or confusion
Fearfulness
Idolatry
Rebellion
Foul thoughts

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. he Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden and has paid the price of the staggering cost for these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT & FORGIVENESS from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Self Control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions  Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes. When you are fixed it will be permanent. WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
P.S.: Please assist where possible by notifying others of this  important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'! Because HE Lives! Working for God on earth doesn't pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world!

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